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Defending The Indefensible: Immigration

Posted on by sam


The Jim Haginson

Defending The Indefensible: Immigration

“Hello, where is the  milk?”
“Hello, pardon thank you”
“Good day to you”
“What? I just want to know Where your milk is?”
“Thank you”…………

….and so goes the conversation in a supermarket between a middle class British woman and a young Asian man. Now before you maneuver  your mouse to the top right hand corner of your screen, this is not  another anti-immigration rant by another embarrassed BNP supporter under an alias. This is a PRO immigration rant and my name IS Jim Haginson
In the past few years I have noticed an increase in people moaning about those working in customer service environments who can’t speak a word of English. They say that these dirty foreigners (not my words, the words of some other people) shouldn’t have jobs in customer service roles when there are plenty of Brits out there who can’t get a job for love nor money despite being able to speak fluent English. Why should these dirty foreigners (not my words, the words of some other people) get all the jobs when it takes you half an hour just for them to point you in the direction of the milk? Even then they sometimes point you in the wrong direction and you end up on the tinned veg aisle. Before you know it you’re at home trying to make a cup of tea with some Batchelors Red Kidney Beans. Then your son comes in, sees what you are doing and says “maybe its time for the home, mum” because he thinks you’ve finally lost it. With his schedule he can’t be looking after a batty old mum. Of course he is on the dole because of the dirty foreigners (not my words, the words of some other people) taking all the jobs but he has his own life. He has things he could be getting on with. The great thing about being on the dole is the amount of unimportant and meaningless things you can get busy with. And this is what brings me to my point….

We work through necessity not choice. Ask 90% of people whether they like work and they’ll look at you like you’re a total cockspoon. Of course they don’t want to work! Its crap! The 10% who do enjoy work are either mentally ill or terminally boring. Work is the one thing that we all do and yet all hate. Its a ludicrous concept but my theory on employing more non English speaking people for customer service roles can go some way to making all our lives better .

“Those Polish, they’ll work for 5p an hour” my mate Nige once said. I don’t know for sure whether the Poles are willing to  work for 5p an hour but for the sake of my entire argument, I am going to continue as if they would be happy with this arrangement.

If we employ more people in customer service roles who struggle with basic English and pay them the 5p an hour they crave then even on a 40 hour weekly contract they will only earn £8:00 a month. Now, to us Brits this is nothing but to the desperate poles this is a lottery win. Its also a lottery win for the chief executives who employ the non English speaking people. Think of the amount of money on wages they will have saved. A supermarket would rather pay some migrant £8:00 a month than pay a British person £200 a month or whatever it is those no hoper’s get for working full time in a crap job.

“But how does this help us Brits?” I hear you screech. Here’s how. The money the economy save on cheap labour (not slave labour because that is wrong) can be pushed into the benefits system. The Brits who once worked all day in supermarkets and Call Centre’s before going home to beat their wives out of sheer boredom can now sign on to the new improved dole. The government would provide former customer service workers the same income as they earned in their jobs. This would be easy with the new benefits scheme. Those dirty foreigners (not my words, the words of some other people) working for just 5p an hour would provide a knock on effect so that the Brits could earn the same but have all the leisure time they desire


1.With so much leisure time and no real jobs to do, people would undoubtedly become lazy. This would lead to an American style weight problem and eventually lead on to major health problems. This is a good thing. Nobody over the age of 65 has anything left to say that they haven’t already said. With so many lazy, fat and unhealthy people in Britain, the age of 65 will become nothing more than a distant dream. This would be a great boost for the economy. Old people’s homes and Worthers originals factories would all be surplus to requirements. Pension money would be a thing of the past and the drain on resources that the lonely and old ensure today would cease to be. Our roads would be safer and the excuse of “Yeah she is racist but she is old” would never be heard again. Also, our country would smell less of piss and shit.
Those who wish to live past 65 and try to stick to a healthy lifestyle should be discouraged. Just as  propaganda used in our current society tells us that having a job is a dignified thing, the same techniques should be used to brainwash the public into thinking that being healthy is ‘a bitchavy’. Those people who twig on that being healthy helps us live longer should be ridiculed by those in positions of power to the point where the person in question is reduced to tears. They will soon find themselves back in their old position. Face down in an Eccles cake.

2.Another great benefit is that people’s patience will grow. With every customer service worker not being able to speak English those without patience will not be able to go 15 minutes without committing suicide when doing their Friday big shop. Impatient folk wanting to enquire about a bank loan would unquestionably reach for
the knife after 45 minutes of hearing “Sorry, can you repeat that”. After a short while We would have the most patient nation in the world. I’m not sure why being a patient nation would be a good thing but it probably would be

3.The loathed BNP would be redundant. Their message of “English Jobs for English people” would be soon be seen as racist towards the English as we enjoy our new leisurely lifestyles

I believe that the cure to our failing system and over obsession with work is staring us right in the face. It is foreign and asking us  ”Hello, pardon thank you?”

Written By Jim Haginson

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  • Gary Barlow

    Right on sister